Roots Seeker Part 6 (2015 blogspot)


When a bye is a hello

It has been sometime since I last made an entry.

It is not that I have forgotten this blog. More like I am trying to forget the past that I can no longer take with me.

I dont know if the adoption episode or the fact that I will turn 48 in a couple of days that is making me more sentimental and emotionally acute.

Just exactly how is one supposed to feel when it is rather conclusive the origin and ‘where-I-came-from’ will remain unknown infinitely.

I have done a deed poll to change my name. Drastic as it may sound, it gives me the peace I am looking for after a distress. For that I make no apology for not getting anyone’s permission. I carry the weight of my heart alone. Others merely see the heaviness.

Somehow with all the bruises and wounds, I think I emerge stronger and wiser. My life is what I will make of it. Not wanting to leave it to Mr Chance or Sir Fate, I will chart a new course by taking with me only the useful, and leaving behind baggages that only serve to remind me of the sorrows.

Though this short search journey, I have learnt so many that life has to share.

I have become more aware of love and friendship. Their value and importance.

I am also more able to be alone than ever before.

Looking at it positively, I now have the chance to grow my own family tree beginning with me and the loving memory of my father and mother who in every imaginable way are better than my biological parents.

Thank you for reading.

I am now Rayan Adam Daniyal Rais.

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